Reddit users had to get unbiased advice from strangers when they pulled out from paying for the weddings of their children. Some pulled out due to their daughters cutting them out of crucial parts of the weddings, while others had some of their other children excluded from the event.
The following four Reddit stories show what can go wrong within families to cause the people paying for weddings to change their minds. One father revealed his daughter, the bride, left her homosexual brothers out of her wedding despite treating them like equals in other spaces.
Stepdad Pays for Stepdaughter’s Wedding but Gets Cut out of the Event
On June 2, 2013, a man turned to Reddit’s “Off My Chest” forum to share a story that had weighed heavily on his mind as his stepdaughter’s wedding day approached. The original poster (OP) mentioned that his stepdaughter was set to marry on August 3.
The Reddit user noted how the wedding planning consumed the bride-to-be and her mother over the past six months. He clarified the status of his relationship with his daughter’s mother by saying:
“I say her mother because we aren’t married, though we’ve lived together for 10 years.”
OP then revealed the substantial financial support he gave his stepdaughter, including covering the cost of her college education, which came to $40,000, despite her attending a state school. Additionally, he bought a car to ease her commute to and from college.
What bothered him more than anything was how his stepdaughter treated him differently compared to her biological father. OP explained that, at times, his stepdaughter’s biological parent would reappear and disappear in her life, but she still showed him deep affection.
Despite the biological father’s lack of financial contribution or child support, his stepdaughter still loved him and wanted him in her life. OP also noted that his stepdaughter’s biological father had a history of making promises to her and then leaving, invariably breaking her heart.
As the wedding day drew close, OP’s frustration grew when he discovered that the wedding venue had a strict capacity of 250 people. He’d provided a list of 20 people he wished to invite, considering his substantial financial contribution to the occasion.
OP revealed that he was informed it wouldn’t be a problem and would be taken care of, so he told his guests about their invites and urged them to save the date. However, during a chance encounter at the golf course, one of his friends on the guest list said he hadn’t received an actual invitation.
Instead, the guest only received an announcement card devoid of OP’s name. The announcement featured the names of the bride’s biological parents but conspicuously omitted him, triggering a heated argument between OP and his stepdaughter’s mother.
He was startled to discover that none of the people from his list made the final guest list because of space constraints. “250 people is very tight,” was his girlfriend’s explanation that failed to satiate his anger. OP felt helpless, as the damage had already been done, and the important people in his life were left offended.
The tension escalated further when, during a Sunday dinner with the future in-laws, his stepdaughter announced a surprise guest: her “Real Dad.” She joyfully shared that the parent would be attending the wedding to give her away.
Fueled by anger and feeling disrespected, OP took a moment to collect his thoughts and once he regained his composure, he rose from his chair and expressed his desire to propose a toast. He noted his ten-year presence within the family and how recent events – through the bride and groom – led him to realization.
The stepfather explained that the couple had shown him that his role within the family wasn’t as he had once perceived. He mentioned how he used to see himself as commanding respect, a figure of authority, and being required for assistance during times of need.
However, he came to realize his reduction into just a financial resource, primarily valued for monetary support. OP said since he was replaced as the host, he’d resigned his financial to his successor, his stepdaughter’s biological father.
He then toasted the happy couple and the path they chose. Tantrums and murmurs among the guests were heard, but no one approached OP. A heated argument ensued with his girlfriend who accused him of being selfish and he spent the night in his home office.
The Redditor transferred the money for the wedding out of his shared joint account with his girlfriend that same night. In the morning he called the vendors and asked for refunds. He happened to flip through the bride’s wedding planner, discovering that the father/daughter dance section was catered to the biological dad’s taste.
The Reddit user felt like they never truly cared and asked his girlfriend and the bride when they could move out. In an update, he said his girlfriend and the bride moved out, relocating to live with the groom. OP also acknowledged and expressed his gratitude for the overwhelming support he received from the Reddit community.
He said the wedding plans were scaled back with the couple trying to involve the groom’s parents. However, his girlfriend tried to write a check for herself from their joint account not long after the incident, further burning bridges with him. Despite everything, he felt a sense of closure and thanked everyone for their support.
Father of the Bride Pulls Out of Paying for Wedding after Daughter Sidelines Her Gay Brothers
A Reddit user shared his predicament about his daughter Casey, who was set to marry her fiancé Max in the winter. The couple had been dating for around four years before getting engaged. The 56-year-old explained that he’s a father to five children in total.
Besides Casey, he is also a father to sons Alex, 31, and Tom, 34, including an older and the youngest daughter. With Casey’s wedding coming up, the responsibility of paying for expenses fell on him. OP revealed that the groom’s family lives in another country and the currency exchange rate prevented them from being able to afford to pay for the wedding and travel to attend simultaneously.
The Redditor had no problem footing the bill for the ceremony because he only wanted his daughter to be happy. However, when Tom, Alex, and their families visited him while Casey was away, that’s when he learned the shocking details surrounding the wedding
While discussing wedding invitations OP was shocked to discover that his sons had not received theirs. He made nothing of it, thinking Casey had not sent out the rest of the invitations to the family yet.
It was not until his oldest and youngest daughters informed him that they received their invitations that he started to sense something was wrong. He called his sister, who also confirmed that she and her entire family got their invitations, adding that hers came a while back.
Casey’s father had a feeling it had something to do with his sons’ sexual orientations. Tom and Alex both married men and adopted children, so it became clear that their sister excluded them because of who they are.
Oddly enough, the parent revealed none of it made sense because “Casey has always been close to them and supported them when they came out as non-binary and gay, respectively.” Disturbed by the revelations, OP called her, demanding an explanation, writing:
“My daughter said that Max and his family don’t feel comfortable with couples that are not traditional and it goes against their culture, and that she hopes for my understanding.”
OP told her he would no longer pay for the wedding if that’s how she felt and would pull out also from walking her down the aisle. He insisted that Alex and Tom did nothing wrong and weren’t deserving of exclusion. The Reddit user told Casey that if she decided to act based on her future in-laws’ opinions and place them before her own family, they should cover her wedding.
Casey insulted her father before hanging up the phone while crying. OP’s other children were fully behind him while their mother, his wife, was torn between the kids’ situation.
The father still struggles to understand what Casey did and why she placed Max’s family on a pedestal instead of looking out for her family first. He noted that she was the one who helped her brothers to come out to him and explained everything.
Many Reddit users sympathized and supported Casey’s father. They commended him for standing up for his other children. They were also on his side with his daughter being called a bigot for her views.
Father of the Groom Gives Son an Ultimatum, Threatening Not to Pay For His Wedding
A man opened up in Reddit’s “AITA” forum on July 2, 2023, after he found himself stuck in an unusual situation. Before jumping to the main story, OP shared a bit about his family. He said he was an ex-military officer who had served his country for around five years.
His son, Karter, was only five when OP joined the forces, but he and his wife had parted ways by then. However, despite being divorced, the Redditor didn’t fail to build a relationship with his son, with him recalling:
“I always made every effort to be a good dad and spend time with him while on leave.”
After his service ended, the parent never missed any opportunity to spend time with Karter. As a result, the boy grew up having a close bond with his father. However, things didn’t turn out as the man had expected. Soon after his divorce, his ex-wife remarried a man named Steven, who became close to Karter.
Steven treated his stepson well, ultimately leading to an issue between Karter and his father. Nothing bothered OP until his son turned 23 and decided to marry his fiancé Clark. Since Karter’s mother and stepfather did not have enough money, the young man turned to his biological father to fund his wedding.
OP didn’t mind paying for his son’s wedding, but what happened next did not sit well with him. He said, “Come to find out yesterday that Karter wants both me and Steven to walk him down the aisle.” Learning about his son’s plans hurt him because he thought he deserved to walk his son down the aisle alone. Since he was paying for the wedding and was always there for Karter, he felt it was his right to walk with his son, stating:
“We got into a huge fight about this morning, and I told him that I wouldn’t pay for the wedding if Steven walks him down the aisle.”
OP’s objection was perceived differently by his family members. His ex-wife thought he was being unreasonable and selfish, while his father thought he did the right thing and should ensure that only he walked his son down the aisle.
The long-standing feud between him and his 48-year-old brother started when he was 20 years old.
After witnessing how his family reacted, OP felt confused and wrote a Reddit post asking other users if he was at fault. Some people sided with the man’s ex-wife and thought he was at fault for refusing to pay for his son’s wedding, while others thought his decision was correct.
Father of the Bride Pulls Out from Paying for Wedding after His Daughter’s Betrayal
Taking to Reddit, a father opened up about a challenging situation that had the potential to ruin his relationship with his daughter. The 46-year-old revealed that his daughter was getting married in the spring. He explained that in his culture, it was tradition for each family to pay for half of the wedding.
However, after his daughter revealed she would be inviting his brother, whom he had a long-standing rivalry with, he felt his boundaries were being crossed. Not only did he find out that his daughter wanted to have his brother at her wedding, but she had also been hanging out with him and his wife for the past four years.
His daughter also asked for her cousin to be the flower girl. As soon as the father heard his daughter’s words, he got angry. He felt that she was not considerate of his feelings and boundaries. So, OP decided to put his foot down and told her that he would not be paying for the wedding or even be a part of it.
She became angry and claimed he was making her wedding about himself. OP’s daughter told him to let the past go, but he was unwilling to compromise and made her choose between him and her uncle. The whole family turned against him.
His ex-wife called him, screaming at him for hurting their daughter’s feelings. OP’s parents also called, asking him to reconsider disappointing his daughter, but he ended up ignoring their calls. His girlfriend also tried to calm him down and get him to rethink his decision. She even made him aware that he risked damaging his relationship with his daughter if he backed out of the wedding.
Still, OP was not backing down. He reasoned that he wanted his feelings respected and wondered if he was wrong to pull out his daughter’s wedding to make a point that a line had been crossed. The long-standing feud between him and his 48-year-old brother started when he was 20 years old.
His girlfriend at the time cheated on him with his brother, and they ended up getting married. After being heartbroken, he decided he would never be in the same space as his brother again. He also asked his family to help him keep his distance, but they never cut him off.
That meant if his parents ever wanted to have both him and his brother over, he would automatically eliminate himself from the plans. As much as OP’s family turned against him, many people understood where he came from. Commenters believed there was no need for his daughter to have contacted his brother, knowing how her father felt.
His daughter was also blamed for making everything about his money without thinking about how betraying her father would make him feel. Therefore, Reddit commenters said she should’ve gotten her uncle to finance the wedding since he wanted to fight for him so much.
